Mother Guilt

I had two children home sick yesterday, one of them very ill. Yet, I had a work commitment that I needed to fulfil. Have you ever been in that boat?

In the end I settled the very sick child into bed with the phone and ran out the door, fixing up my work matter in one hour, and returning home to find him still fast asleep. As I was driving back home, I had a real sense of not being a good mother. What mother does that - leaves a sick child at home for work?

I've discovered in the last decade of mothering, that these decisions pop up all too often. Should I go on that work trip or stay and see that special concert? Will my child cope if I don't see them win a ribbon at the sports carnival because I've got a client to see? Is feeding my children toasted sandwiches for dinner really that bad when I've got so much work to do?

I've decided that parenting is all about the 51%. It doesn't matter what you do 49% of the time, as long as 51% of the time, you get it right, and throw in a few peak moments in the year where they know without a doubt that you love them to bits.

An article in The Australian on the weekend (25-26 July, Inquirer 19) covered just this topic of "The Struggle to Juggle". It said that the most telling finding from the Australian Work and Life Index 2009 were that a large proportion of women "feel rushed or pressed for time". The researchers felt this was because generally, all workers work more than the want, but also because women carry the major burden of running households.

It just reminded me that life is all about balance, maintaining the spheres of work, caring for yourself and your family, maintaining your home and having fun in some sort of functional equilibrium. I'm not saying it's easy though!