A Night To Remember

My son's Year 3 class is putting on a concert for the end of the year. His teacher has decided to relive World Expo 88 in an all-singing, all-dancing routine involving 50 kids, a movie set and a costume department.

The bad mother in me is really struggling to get enthusiastic about this one. You see, I went back to World Expo 88 just 3 years ago when my oldest boy was in this teacher's class. Expo wasn't at all like I remembered it. It seemed to drag on for hours, with each song leading to another one. My daughter was sick with an ear infection and languished on my knee for the entire show, while I sat on one of those tiny seats they use in Year 1 that never quite accommodate an adult bottom or back.

My son who is soon to be a star, spent that Expo, sobbing on my other knee after he tripped on the concrete, skinning both knees and an elbow. And then, to top off a fantastic night, my eldest son spent the night dancing and prancing with a sore arm that we'd had x-rayed the day before. First thing the next morning we were back at the hospital getting the plaster on, after they'd had another look at the x-ray and found a break.

So how do I put aside my bias and embrace this concert with joy? I'm trying to look at it through my son's eyes. The excitement of costumes, props and dress rehearsals. The after party and adoring fans. Yep, I'm getting a little more excited. I'm thinking of that big grin when he sees his family in the audience cheering him on.

The Latchkey

You'll have read in the paper or heard on the news a while back about the new laws relating to leaving children at home alone. Of course the law is still quite ambiguous, in that it doesn't tell us how long is an unreasonable amount of time, but it does say that it applies to children under 12 years of age.

This is one of those tricky parenting dilemmas I think. After all, you can't just turn around the day they turn 12 and say 'Right-e-oh, you're old enough to look after yourself now, I'll be back in 9 hours when I'm finished work." There has to be some sliding scale of learned independence and responsibility. So when do you start? How long is long enough?

Having a bit of a Google on this subject there seem to be a few things that we can do to teach our children this independence and responsibility without being neglectful. They include:

• Ensure it happens in a safe place, like at home, not the Jupiter's Casino carpark. Can you believe 28 children were left in their parents car at Jupiters last year?
• Set clear ground rules, like what they can and cannot do, what they can eat, what to do if someone calls by or phones and then general family rules as well.
• Make sure they know how long you will be away, how they can contact you if they need you and where they can find other phone numbers if they can't get onto you.
• Follow through - that means being home when you said you would, making regular phone calls to check they are going ok and haven't had any problems, and talking through how they went when you do get home.

It still doesn't answer the questions "How old is old enough?" and "How long is long enough?" but since when was parenting an easy task?

Swim Fest

My kids had a swim meet for their swimming club on Saturday. It was a great day and thankfully the storms held off and didn't spoil the carnival. We came home with piles of wet towels and clothes, a first, 4 seconds, a third, 4 competitor ribbons and a swag of PB's. If you're not a swimming family, then PB stands for 'Personal Best' and that's what you're striving to improve each time you race. But once we got home it all came unravelled, and PB turned into 'Pain in the Butt'.

You see it is a truth universally acknowledged that a child in possession of competitor ribbons will think they're a bad swimmer. Particularly when their 6 year old sister is waving 4 second ribbons in their face. It doesn't matter that they took 2 seconds off their PB in 2 strokes, they still came last and life might as well stop right now. You can't really take your PBs to school for show and tell now, can you?

Well after much discussion I'm hopeful we've got it straight that ribbons will fade or get lost somewhere in the bedroom, whereas a PB stands forever. I'm hoping that he'll find the strength within himself to have another go at racing later in the week, but in the meantime we're not really talking about it.

So what does this mean for mankind? I think too often we forget that kids are just like adults and like a physical reminder of their success. A competitor ribbon just doesn't cut it. That means we need to look for ways to help kids show what they are good at and how good they are. Self esteem is built on the understanding that you're important and valuable. You can't have self esteem without being good at something. Whether that's maths, drawing, playing an instrument, playing a sport, leading a group, cooking or something else. As parents, our number 1 job is helping kids find what they are good at, nurturing that talent or interest and then celebrating it loudly and proudly.