A Good Mother

Last night we had some excitement with a snake in our backyard. Unfortunately we found the snake in our guinea pig hutch after it had eaten the mother and killed one of our babies. We managed to save the 3 other babies, but there was a very sad mood over our house at bedtime.

This morning the kids have been talking about how the snake was just doing what it was made to do (thanks to Steve Irwin) and that Princess Leia was a very brave mother who gave up her own life to save her babies. The kids were impressed that that's what a mother does.

There's a passage in the Bible that identifies the traits of a good mother. It says that this mother is more precious than diamonds and deeply respected by her husband. This mother is never spiteful and is generous to all. She keeps a tidy and cheerful home and fills life with surprises. This good mother rises first in the house, prepares a hearty breakfast for her family and organises the day. She is careful with money, hard working and diligent. A good mother will help those around her in need and make sure that her family have all their needs met too. She faces each day with a smile and speaks with kindness. She's protective of the members of her family and makes sure they fulfill all their obligations outside of the home. This mother is so respected in the community that her husband is respected too.

I'm not sure that I come close to that high standard, but it does give me something to aim for. A little less yelling at the kids. A little more tolerance of their tantrums. Getting up cheerfully in the morning and thinking through all the things that need to be accomplished that day. Starting the day with a smile, kind words and a welcoming breakfast. These things aren't all that hard to do but will probably made all the difference.

My children already have a high opinion of me as a mother, so maybe I'm already on the road to being a good mother. It would be nice to think that one day they'll look back on my life and praise my motherhood like they did for Princess Leia this morning.

The Problem of Teeenage Girls

I was speaking to a parent this week about the pitfalls of parenting a teenage girl when it comes to back chatting, shaving legs and sibling rivalry. It's made me realise that my six-year old's "You did my hair wrong!" tantrums will get a lot worse than "I did my hair wrong!" ones.

There seem to be 2 main issues that trouble girls as they near the end of primary school - body concerns and friendship problems. The issues of body concerns often feed into friendship problems as young women seek to adjust how the look to 'fit in' with their peers. So what can we do as parents? Well these are my well-researched ideas:

1. Panic, eat a bar of chocolate, watch a movie with a happy ending and then sit down with a cup of tea and ponder adolescence.
2. Set a good example - don't change your own outfit 15 times before going out for dinner and don't keep trying different diets only to put on more weight that you started with.
3. Make food a source of pleasure and ensure your family is eating together around the table as often as possible.
4. Talk openly about body shape and bring up the disadvantages of being a stick insect.
5. Be willing to give in on the little things. Yes we all know that shaving your legs is a good thing to delay, but no teenager is going to believe you, so instead invest your energy in negotiating a workable compromise - when can they start, who will pay for all the stuff they need and what you're actually saying yes to.
6. Talk up exercise for all it's benefits - managing weight, stress relief, feeling positive and being social. One day they might actually believe you! Eat another chocolate bar and sit down with another movie - adolescence is a long road, and you're going to need to pace yourself!

Of course, some of these may be harmful to your own body image, so please consult your own common sense before implementing all of my suggestions.