A Bag of Lollies

Yesterday I bought a bag of mixed lollies. I didn't realise that the bag included about 15 bananas, which have no fans in our household. So instead of the holiday stash being full of lollies, the box was only about half full... pretty disappointing really.

The more I thought about it, the more I realised that that bag was a good representation of life. Too often we rush into something, like a new job, a holiday, purchasing a new car etc, and then realise that there were lots of things we didn't realise came in that 'packet'.

In our house, the jelly babies, milk bottles and snakes go first from the lolly packet. Then the racing cars, strawberries and cream and the raspberries disappear. The black cats, pineapples and teeth are the last pickings. The poor old bananas are left in the bottom of the barrel until I throw them out or convince a visitor to scoff the lot.

We're heading off for a mini-break at the end of the week, and I know it will be just like that bag of lollies too. Everyone will be excited about going and jump into the task of packing the car. People will grumble and groan as we clean up the house before going, but they'll still pitch in because the holiday is before them. But when we get home... I know I'll get all the bananas - I'll be doing the washing long after they've jumped on the couch and turned the TV on.

I think I'm ok with that, I'll just have to make sure I find plenty of jelly babies and milkbottles to enjoy while we're away.

Washing Powder

I've worked out the list of attributes that a good washing powder needs to make clothes clean.

• A nice but light fragrance that tells you when something is clean
• A dash of stain remover to keep the whites whiter and the coloured less multi-coloured
• An ability to disolve and not just sit in the machine for the whole cycle
• An ability to protect the clothes from smelling when they've been sitting in a basket waiting to be hung out all day
• A good price that regularly comes on special

The one I've got at the moment does all this. It's a bit of a miracle wash, particularly with all the wet weather we've had lately. My clothes have been sitting around waiting to get dry a lot lately.

It's taken me a few years to find the washing powder that really works well for me, particularly in my front loader. I don't know if it's me just finally finding the right one, or whether the manufacturers have actually gone out and found what people need in a washing powder and then made their product fit that description.

Now I just have a few more products to get right in my house:

• a shower cleaner
• a self-vacuuming vacuum-cleaner
• something to deal with the dead animal smell in the car
• and, something to get the kids to do their jobs

That shouldn't be too hard, should it?

Getting Things Done

My son has an orthodontist appointment today, and it's true to say that he was not looking forward to it. We had to wake him to get him ready, as it was a really early appointment, and there was plenty of grumbling coming from under the doona.

He's been seeing the orthodontist for over a year now, and today they are taking his braces off, taking a new mould and then putting the brace back in until a retainer can be made for him. I know he'll be feeling pretty sad and sorry for himself by the end of the day.

Something that's surprised me is that he's still happy to go to the dentist, even though he's had quite a painful experience with his brace. I thought he would become one of those children that would avoid the dentist at any cost, but he's been quite happy to see our regular dentist for his checkup every 6 months.

When I have difficult things coming up, I know that all too often I try to 'bury my head in the sand' to avoid facing them. I talk tough to my kids, but I have to say I'm really cowering on the inside and would happily run the other way. Perhaps my son has picked up some of that stoic determination, that you've just got to do some things, so you might as well get them done and move on.

Maybe I'm not such a bad parent after all...

Household Chores & Kids

I'm having one of those weeks where the dirty washing is starting to invade the house and the ironing basket is now the major feature of the lounge room. It seems like the family roster for keeping the house clean and tidy has broken down.

Why is sharing the household chores so important to family life?

I think kids can only learn about the breadth of domestic work by taking part in it. We spent time on a property last school holidays, and our kids saw that to help their family stay afloat financially, the kids were needed to muster cattle, feed the animals and work within the house, from basically dawn to dusk. They were under no illusions by the time we left that their lives were very easy and that they took on far less work within our house than we did.

Teaching the kids to clean the toilet, put their washing away so that it's neat and doesn't get crushed, and cleaning up their bedrooms might not be a huge contribution to the running of the house, but it teaches them to pull their weight, which hopefully will be helpful when they get their first job or move into a share house. It also gives them plenty of time to see you and how you operate as an adult.
What can you do to make sure everyone is helping to keep the house tidy?

We've tried heaps different ways of doing the roster and the only thing I've found that really works is a really simple one. Our current roster is a wheel that rotates around each week. Everyone in the house gets one job - cleaning the toilets, rubbish duty, unpacking the dishwasher, sweeping the floor etc, and one breakfast during the week to prepare and serve.

The only downfall seems to come at the end of term when people have lots of things on and lots of projects and they run out the door without doing their job.

I'm still trying to work out how to deal with this, but I find reminding them calmly over the dinner or breakfast table has worked much better than yelling and stamping my feet at them. I've also found that I've got to make sure I've done my jobs before I start hassling them about doing their share.

Embracing Change

I can remember when my daughter started prep a couple of year ago. She has my stature, so the size 4 shirt was like a tent on her and the had was more of an umbrella. But none of that stood in the way of here embracing school life. She'd watch her two older brothers start school and was ready for it all - walking to school with the giant backpack, eating lunch with the other kids, going to music lessons and sport on the oval.

Fast forward 3 years, and last night I spent hours helping her finish off a poster on moths, now that she's in Year 2. She announced, as I tucked her into bed, that we still have to print out some pictures of moths this morning, and reminded me that it's dress up day today and she'd like to go as a Heffalump. I'm not too confident that the dress up box can deliver on such an ambitious project and I'm fearing what reaction I'll get when I and the box let her down.

Unlike most of the family, my daughter loves new experiences. Every new school year is exciting to her because she knows that she's now allowed in a new part of the school or able to do something else that only "the big kids" can do. The rest of us realise that changes around us require us to change, and that that is usually an unpleasant experience. I think my daughter has such a positive outlook because she's always been too young, so she's had to wait for everything and watch from the sidelines as others try new things.

Wouldn't it be great if we could experience change as an adult with the same sense of excitement and longing. That new job, the move to the new house, the children going to high school or leaving home - they're all things that adults find quite stressful, but if we went in with the attitude of a child starting school, wouldn't we find joy in these changes?

First-time Family Camping

We've just started talking about what we're going to do during the holidays. We think we'll sneak off for a 'mini-break', family camping style.

If you haven't gone camping as a family, then I'd recommend it as a cheap means of resetting the family compass and reconnecting with one another. There's nothing like working together to set up camp and sharing a meal that you've prepared together.

I think there are 10 things that are essential purchases for any family getting into camping:

1. A good tent - but not one that is too big. Buy a tent that's just big enough to accommodate everyone when they're sleeping and still give you room to get out to the toilet if needed. You also need a bit of space to store clothing and belongings.
2. A large tarpaulin - this goes over the tent, which is essential when camping in Queensland because the weather can change so quickly, the storms can be pretty fierce and the sun is pretty punishing too. A tarp gives your family a living room space outside of the tent, which is a must in our blistering summers. Just make sure you buy enough poles, ropes and pegs to put it up.
3. A decent esky - you don't need an icebox or fridge unless you're planning to camp in really isolated places or lug a generator, but a decent esky will keep your food and drinks cold with the odd bag of ice thrown in.
4. A butane stove - these little cartridge stoves are so portable and you can buy the fuel at K-mart or Big W, as well as camping stores. They're great with kids because they produce just enough heat to boil water, but they're pretty safe around kids.
5. Bedding - We've discovered 4WD mats, which just roll out and self-inflate. They also stack on top of each other during the day when you need more space in the tent. If you've got some old air mattresses, then make sure you replace them with these when the time comes. Your camping experience will never be the same again.
6. Crates - We now use crates for everything. Food, cooking utensils, clothing, games... If you buy lots of crates at the same time, you'll find they stack nicely on top of each other, which makes packing a breeze and helps you keep the tent tidy when moving from day to night and back again.
7. A camping table and chairs - These are a must. The table gives you somewhere to cook and eat, somewhere to play games and somewhere to put things off the ground if you find yourself in a torrential downpour.
8. Light - If you haven't got a dolphin torch or a battery operated lantern, then these can both be handy, but our family have really taken to using headlamps. You can pick them up for around $40 at Anaconda, and it means everyone has enough light to see what they're doing and still has both hands free. They are also much kinder on batteries.
9. Uno, Skipbo, Scrabble or any other games - Games are a must on any family holiday but especially when camping. There are plenty of times when you have to wait and grabbing a pack of cards or game can really add to the camping experience.
10. A packet of marshmallows, chocolate and wine - no camping holiday is complete without roasting marshmallows, even if it is on the butane stove, and I can't recommend highly enough the restorative effects of a block of chocolate and a glass of wine after a long day of camping with the kids.

The only other thing you'll need then is a trailer to fit it all in and your togs!

School Holiday Survival Guide

Well the holidays are getting very close, and won't we all be glad to have a break from packing all those lunches and scrabbling around for clean uniforms. I can almost hear the fighting now.

I have 3 essential elements to my holiday survival guide, so if you're new to school holidays, I hope you find this helpful.

1. Napisan - holiday peace comes with a large bucket of Napisan to soak away the excesses of the school term. My kids are magnets for stains, including that tell-tale grungy grey stain where the shirt hangs over their shorts. Napisan has a way of restoring my motherly pride as a good housekeeper.
2. Fine weather - I know you can't control the weather, but fine weather is definitely a blessing when it comes to the holidays. Good holidays are dependent on exhausted children and the best way I've found to make that happen is to keep the kids moving. Whether it's riding to the park and playing soccer, hiking in the bush, going to the beach (if it's not too cold) or exploring the city sights, being outside is definitely the best way to wear the kids out.
3. Boring movies - most holiday nights in our family are movie nights, where the kids are allowed to watch a movie after bath time. Over the years I've discovered that the more they've watched a movie, the quicker they fall asleep, particularly if part to of the plan has been implemented. Watching Toy Story or High School Musical one more time guarantees an early bedtime for the kids and a few hours of peace for the grown ups. What more could you want?

3D Glasses

My husband had to go away last night to the coldest part of our state, Stanthorpe. He was madly packing for this impromptu trip, when he decided he needed is thermal leggings. Where else would we keep them than in the dress up box, so my daughter when to retrieve them for him. While digging through it, she called out "Do you need 3D glasses for your trip?"
It was a very funny moment, but led me to think, "What use are 3D glasses if you're not going to a 3D movie?"

• I suppose they could be prove to be a fashion accessory, although they might take some time to take off as a trend. They could also impair your vision, so they probably shouldn't be worn when driving.
• They might enhance the mirrorball experience at a nightclub or party. But again, you might stand out as a little strange and have to work hard to convince everyone that you're hip.
• Could 3D glasses improve your golf swing? I can't play golf at the best of times, but maybe confusing your eyes might assist get the ball where you wanted it in the first place.

Actually, the more I think about it, 3D glasses really are completely useless, and our pair will probably stay in the dress up box well past the days when the kids actually do dress up.

Best Cupcake Recipe Ever

My kids have their sports carnival today and I'm up at 5.30am cooking cupcakes for the tuckshop stall. I'm just whipping up my basic cupcake recipe.

In fact, this cupcake recipe is so easy my children can make them, but with some fancy icing and decorating, they dazzle even the best cooks.

So here it is....

You'll need:
125g butter
2/3 cup caster sugar
3 eggs at room temperature
a dollop of vanilla extract
2 cups of self-raising flour
1/3 cup milk

Then:
Preheat the oven to 180 degrees. Fill a muffin tray with paper muffin cases, this recipe will make between 12 and 15 cupcakes. Beat the butter and sugar together in a large bowl until pale and creamy. Add the eggs, one at a time, and then the vanilla. Beat until combined. Stir in half the flour, followed by the milk, followed by the remaining flour. Spoon into the muffin cases. Bake for around 18 minutes until golden.

Once the cupcakes are cool you can mix up icing and add your decorations. My favourite icing recipe is 3/4 cup icing sugar, sifted, with 2 tablespoons of butter and 2 tablespoons of milk, mixed together with a little food colouring.

So far, I've decorated these cupcakes with marshmallow flowers (like the ones above), sprinkles, lollies and chocolate shavings. But today, we're going for the sports house colours - red, yellow and green.

Lets hope the green team wins!

All in a Name

I have a daughter named Olivia. I have to admit we didn't put much thought into choosing her name, we kind of just liked it. But I've discovered a few things about Olivias. They seem to have a specific personality. I haven't met an Olivia that doesn't have a fierce determination to be better than everyone else in the room. They are loud and energetic. They are giggly and boyish. In fact, they are just like that little pig, Olivia, made famous by Ian Falconer.

Apparently, it was Shakespeare who made up the name Olivia, for a wealthy character in his play, The Twelfth Night. It's derived from something to do with olive trees and is seen to symbolise fruitfulness, beauty and dignity. That sounds nice doesn't it.

Now, Olivia the pig has a TV show that my daughter had taken delight in watching. It's a lovely little show where Olivia gets into some mischief and has to put the world to right by the end of the episode. A couple of days ago, Olivia discovered that there was another Olivia in her class. Oh, no! So she changed her name to Pam so that there would be no more mixing up. Eventually, piggy-Olivia realises that there's nothing like your own name, so she changes it back to Olivia and prepares for her next adventure.

My daughter is yet to meet another Olivia at school. But she thought the idea of changing her name was attractive, so she announced that from now on her name would be Pam. Now I'm not saying Pam isn't a nice name, but it conjures up images of a middle-aged line dancer, not a 7 year old. After all, Pam as a first name reached it's peak in the 1940's.

Now Pam means to be sweet like honey, but I can tell you there's been nothing sweet about our little girl as we've been trying to get used to calling her Pam. We've been so frustrating that I think she's just about given up hope of getting her name changed and is about to accept that Olivia isn't so bad after all.

I can't decide whether it's the name that makes Olivias so distinct, or whether little Olivias aren't really any different to other girls, they just do it a bit more loudly. But I'm looking forward to having my Olivia back, because a Pam is not the same.

Which School?

There's lots of talk in my circle of friends at the moment about choosing a high school for our eldest children. Some people made this decision long ago, others are just doing it now, and other still can't make up their mind and keep chopping and changing.

I don't think this is a new phenomenon, but I do think it's become a more pressured decision. There is this school of thought that not getting it right will somehow cause untold harm to your child. I can't work out where this pressure comes from, but I know that big private schools are happy to perpetuate the hype so people feel they need to send their kids there so that they know how much the are truly loved.

In choosing a school, I think there are some important things to remember:

1. No school is perfect. Every school will do something that annoys you or feels like a burden. My experience of primary school is that that can be as simple as homework, changing the sports day or short notice for a school camp.
2. Your child will not become smarter if you choose a school that does better in the national tests. Our society is caught up with schools producing the best results, but who says that children need to perform their best to get along in life? From my memory, I got a few A's, but mostly B's and C's on my report cards. My husband was the same. But we've both gone on to have jobs that we enjoy, buy a house, have a family and enjoy holidays. School results are pretty small potatoes in the scheme of things.
3. There's nothing wrong with changing schools. I think it actually models to kids that you can always change if you make a wrong decision. I'm not recommending you endlessly move children around schools, shopping for the right one, but I think making a considered change when it's clear that a child is not thriving in one school, is fine.
4. Children should be able to get themselves there. I can think of nothing worse than having to drive my children to school everyday in Year 10 or 11. Surely, getting yourself to school is an important skills that children should learn when they go to high school. Public transport offers lots of life lessons to young people, and their level of safety can be greatly enhanced by the simple act of wearing a uniform and carrying a mobile phone. Public transport teaches children to be on time, that the bus will not wait for them if they dawdle. It teaches them to be responsible by requiring them to look after their possessions and carry the correct fare or card. It also teaches them to cope with change. There's nothing like the bus being late or not turning up to teach kids contingency skills.

The actual school you choose should be just one aspect of the high school experience. It's the social networking, part-time jobs and weekend experiences that go into the whole package of moving children through adolescence that makes high school such a special time of life.