The Biggest Loser Principle

I've had coffee with many groups of mothers over the years and always heard similar conversations. Someone will raise a parenting issue that they are struggling with, and despite plenty of suggestions, none will really seem like the right solution to this problem. Having been a mother for over 11 years now, I know that more than our ideas, other mothers really just want our support. Because, to deal with most parenting problems, you have to face the fear of change before you're ready to actually make any change.

This topic came up with a colleague the other day, and I suggested that it's like The Biggest Loser. All of those people on the show, at some point realise that the way things are is much worse than the could be if they changed. As my friend put it, "The pain of change is less than the pain of remaining the same." I think this is a pretty good principle in life - the Biggest Loser Principle.

We can offer our friends, co-workers, family and clients all sorts of advice and support, but ultimately, people only change when the scales swing in favour of change and they find the inner strength to move towards that preferred outcome rather than stay in their comfort zone. That's when we need to be good friends and step in as their cheer squad when their motivation and enthusiasm fades. But, we can never get that ball rolling. Only they can. Just like on The Biggest Loser.

Flying with Kids

I'm about to take my 9 year old son with me to New Zealand to visit my grandmother. This is the second time I'm taking one of the kids to visit her, having taken my daughter 2 years ago when she was 5.

I'm becoming a savvy traveller with kids, and this time, instead of buying the cheapest airfare I could afford, I've made sure I've got the cheapest package I could find.

You see last time, I flew with a no-frills, no-food airline. I'd packed plenty of games and books and food to get us through the 3 hour flight, but I hadn't thought about what would happen if the person beside us wasn't so organised. True to Murphy's Law, the person beside us was the mother of a flight attendant, so she received every bit of food and drink complimentary, as well as the use of one of those little DVD things they have on those airlines. My daughter managed to cope with the feelings of jealousy, long enough for us to get out of the airport and into a McDonald's store when we finally arrived in Auckland.

Then on the return trip, I convinced her to have a sleep and I'd buy her a hot breakfast rather than eat in the very expensive airport before our 7am flight. That was all good, except that the airline put us up the back of the plane because of her age, and by the time the food cart got to us they'd sold out of hot breakfasts. Once again, we coped long enough to crawl through immigration and find Daddy and the boys, who were only too happy to take us out to breakfast after our week away.

This time around, I've chosen to fly with Air New Zealand. I'm looking forward to having breakfast on the plane, a nice cup of tea, and watching a movie while my son does the same thing beside me. It won't matter what other people do, because this is true luxury for our family!

Sometimes, you really do get what you pay for, but as that MasterCard ad reminds us, what price do you pay for peace and no stress? It's priceless.

Healthy Young Athletes

My kids were keen swimming trainers over last summer and all moved up into squads of varying difficulty. But it's clear to everyone in our family, that though they have lovely technique, they don't really have the speed to do really well at swimming.

I love the kids playing team sports through winter because I think it teaches them so much about the world. They learn how to work with others, even when they don't really like them. They learn to take direction from others and to sacrifice their own goals for the good of the team. The learn to win and lose gracefully too. But overall, I think getting kids into sport gives them physical activity habits that will set them up well for adulthood.

Other friends have had their children swimming through the winter, and the coach has often asked through them when we are coming back. We returned to swimming just a few weeks ago, but then the colds and flu moved in, so we held off while everyone got well. It's now been six weeks and the kids are still coughing and sneezing, so I think we still have another couple of weeks rest ahead of us. But still the coach asks.

I have to say it's really starting to annoy me. I'm feeling pressured to get our kids back to swimming. But lets face it, they're aged 7, 9, and 11. They could still be Olympic swimmers and not have been in the water yet. So today I'm just reminding myself that I'm the parent and she's the coach. As a parent, I know my kids need to be well to enjoy life to the full, so the best place for them at the moment isn't the pool, but at home.

There's plenty of time to swim next month and the month after. Now I just have to pluck up the courage to be strong in front of the coach. That might be a little harder...

Leftover Vegetable Soup

For the last couple of years, I've discovered a liking for soups, particularly just before I go shopping and I've got a fridge full of aging produce.

I've discovered that you can throw just about any vegetables together to make a tasty soup, but today's was a particularly nice batch, so I'll record it here for future reference.

Put chopped zucchini, broccoli, half a cup of soaked lentils and corn off the cob into a large saucepan with about a litre of water and some miso soup paste. Bring to the boil then simmer for 10 minutes or so.

Add a wedge of chopped pumpkin and a tin of berlotti beans, stir well and simmer for another 10-15 minutes. Take off the heat and season with salt and pepper.

Serve when ready with a crusty bread roll or add a small packet of udon noodles to the soup.

Yummy!

And the good thing is, it's low in fat but really filling.

Cooking Teaches Children Healthy Food Habits

Have you heard that line, that if you get your kids involved in the kitchen they'll pick up better eating habits?

Why is it that whenever my kids get busy in the kitchen they only really want to make the unhealthy stuff and that it hasn't really changed any of their food habits?

I've had pizza nights where they make their own, and one or two of them will still choose the mega meatlovers, with the token slice of tomato because I've said they have to have one vegetable. Or they'll help make a curry or casserole only to say they don't actually want to eat it when it's time to serve the meal.

Rather than beat myself up as a bad parent, I've actually decided that the best I can do is offer healthy meals full of lots of colour, texture and taste. There's nothing to gain from fights at the dinner table over what they eat, so instead I just offer healthy meals and leave it to them to eat their fill, even if that is mostly plain rice or pasta. I've also taken to cheating by giving them multivitamins so that most of the essentials are covered, even if they're not getting it from food.

The trade off has been that they enjoy helping out in the kitchen without the pressure of eating everything they prepare, and the dinner table is a safe place for conversation and connection, not discipline and arguments.

Having said all that, the cookies were great - I might just have one now with a calming cup of tea.

Jet Truck at Ekka

We went to the Ekka the other night - a huge country fair right here in Brisbane. We had an awesome time as a family, with no tantrums or tears. The highlight for all of us was the night entertainment on the centre oval. I think I've had my fill of woodchopping, whip-cracking, horse-dancing, utes driving and motorbike thrills, but it was the jet truck that really stole the show.

This truck was an old World War 2 truck of some sort with a huge get engine on the back (a bit like the one in the picture, but just not as new!). It drove around the oval, burning off jet fuel with about 20 blasts and the heat could be felt all over the grandstands.

In this age of aggressive occupational health and safety, I can't actually believe that they were allowed to have this crazy contraction. I can just see the headlines - "4000 people burnt to a crisp in crazy Ekka stunt!"

My boys thought it was a ball, and I was just glad when it was over, but it made me realise, that if this is still possible, then surely so many other things are permissible with the right controls in place? As playgrounds and school yards get more and more safety aware that they take away the risk and fun, isn't it time that we had a 'jet truck' approach to childhood also?

Thank goodness that the fireworks finished the night off perfectly and we all got home in one piece. Perhaps we'll go again in a few years time... who's betting the jet truck's back then too!

Work Travel

I've just started packing for a week away at a work conference next week. I had never really been away for work, until I got this job, but after 3 years of regular travel, I've learnt a thing or two about how to pack well.

My top 10 things to pack are:

1. a sleeping mask - because you never know who you'll share a room with, and it's nice to be able to go to sleep when you want, not when everyone else wants
2. your joggers - so you can get some exercise to make up for the huge amounts of artery-clogging food you're offered
3. a packet of paracetamol - headaches always seem to accompany a day of meetings
4. your own pillow - there's nothing like having the comfort of your own pillow to make up for a different bed
5. your phone charger - leaving this at home brings much heartache
6. slippers - there's nothing nicer for the end of a long day or for those early mornings when you're waiting for your turn in the shower
7. a mattress protector - sleeping on a plastic-coated mattress covered in just a sheet is not my idea of luxury
8. something to read - if you get woken up early and you can't get back to sleep, at least you have something to do without having to get out of bed
9. a headlamp or torch - to help you read without disturbing other
10. going out pj's - it's time to leave the daggy t-shirt and shorts or the fancy lingerie at home and pack decent pyjamas that you don't mind being seen in

Now I just have to follow my own advice and make sure I pack it all...